Fort Worth Teen Scene Vol 1 – For that Paul bloke…

Here yar matey x

  1. Train Kept a Rollin’ – Cynics
  2. Little Girl – Jades
  3. Night of the Sadist – Larry & The Blue Notes
  4. I Don’t Want to Find Another Girl – Five of a Kind
  5. I’m Blue – Rising Suns
  6. Humpty Dumpty – Visions
  7. The Girl – Gnats
  8. In and Out – Larry & The Blue Notes
  9. Time is All – The Mistakes
  10. Gloria – Tracers
  11. Without Her – The Barons
  12. Fly by Nighter – Wylder
  13. She Said Yeah – Tracers
  14. One Potato – The Elite
  15. Two Potato – The Elite
  16. The Chocolate Moose Theme – Chocolate Moose
  17. Thanks a Lot Baby – Bards
  18. Empty Heart – Nomads
  19. Little Latin Lupe Lu – Rising Suns
  20. All I Ask – The Barons
  21. Betty Lou’s Got a New Tattoo – Creep
  22. Don’t Blame Me – The Barons
  23. Days Mind the Theme – The Mods
  24. Come on Up – Jinx

Love updates….

I hate Window updates, Twitter updates, security updates and all that stuff that makes my computer worse than it was before.

But as for loving updates, or should I say I love love updates? The latest love update is my badger and are planning a trip together, so we get to spend time in each other’s company for a few glorious days. To say I am missing him right now is a gross understatement. I am truly pining for my nocturnal creature; the man who has singlehandedly given me a reason to smile and a reason to look forward to each new development in our relationship with a racing heart.

He is a good man; patient, brave, kind and loving. I had no intention of ever meeting anyone again, being very content in my settled life with one little child and currently one big one. But out of the blue, this badger popped his head out of is sett and said “Hi, fancy stepping out with me?” And I did. Joy of joys, I did.

Life has many shocks and surprises in store for all of us.  If I can find happiness at this time in my life, there truly is hope for everyone.

With love from me, your soft socialist CAB worker xx

That unpleasant phone call…

The person who rang and made an improper suggestion to me on Monday evening rang me again last night. I recognised his number on my screen and cut him off before he could speak. I had looked on the T Mobile site and sent them a tweet asking how to block his calls but of course being a moneymaking organisation they didn’t provide that information. They didn’t display the answer on their website and could not be bothered to answer my question via twitter. So thanks for that T Mobile, thanks for nothing.

Now this person was rung by my boss. He then proceeded to tell my boss how sorry he was for causing me offence. Not good enough I’m afraid. He knew what he was saying and the more I think about it the more I realise what a lucky escape I have had. He will undoubtedly have spun some line about it being said in all innocence and how I must have misunderstood. No! He made his intention clear and it was a very weird intention, let me tell you.

One good thing is I no longer feel any guilt about reporting him. I did feel sorry for him at first but now, on reflection, I realise he deserves to feel bad (if he does). He is not my responsibility.

And as for the man I love…

As for the nocturnal creature. I love him more each day. I am here for him to hold his hand, stroke his brow, and give him the security and devotion he deserves. He is a good man and he is doing his best to resolve our situation. We want to spend our lives together but there are children to consider. One way or another we will be together soon. I just want my man to know I will always be here for him.

I love you Badger xx

Dilemma…

Without breaking confidence it is hard to explain the full story here but someone I work for, through an agency (we will call it an agency for these purposes)  rang me yesterday and made a most inappropriate suggestion. Now, this old person has just lost his wife and is in a state of shock. I have worked for the couple for about a year and over that time he has occasionally made flirtatious and sometimes bordering on the shocking remarks. I have brushed most of them off although on one occasion did threaten, in a jocular fashion, to damage his gooners and walk out of the house if he did what he wanted to do.

The lady died recently and I have been asked by him to give support above and beyond the call of duty, i.e. helping to scatter her ashes in the  woods and attend the post-funeral party, so to speak ,as a friend. Those are things I was willing to do. I am a kind person and see no reason not to help someone who has lost the wife, the woman he clearly loved with all his heart. However, he phoned me yesterday and made a most shocking suggestion. I now feel I do not want to be alone with this person and I am not sure I ought to be walking in the woods alone with him to scatter the lady’s ashes, much as I loved and admired her myself.

Now, my dilemma is do I tell the boss? If I do, I will have to leave this position and the old man will be left high and dry. He has no family or friends here. He has neighbours who he talks to but nobody he can call a friend. Why am I worrying myself about a funny old bloke? Why can’t I just say sod him and walk away? Answers please.

My little sis…

I have two twitter sisters and one twinnie; none of whom are actually related to me but they have become, and always will be, part of my family. The twitter sisters @TraceySpacey1 and @ProfessorEdith are the ones I turn to when things get good or bad; we talk and we share. My twinnie keeps changing her name thanks to twitter stupidity but is currently known as @RockSteadyT2 or Tunde as she is known to me and her husband, her real one (not her fantasy Jan Kincaid one).

Today I am off to Mansfield or thereabouts to see my little sis Tracey. I am taking my daughter with me, who will meet Auntie Tracey for the first time. I know they will get on fine, both being very sweet natured and lovely to be around. I am so excited about seeing my little sis. I last saw her several months ago before the man I love had come into my life; we went out and about in Nottingham town, getting high on mucky ales and observing life on the late train. This time there will be no alcohol for me as I will have my 11 year old to care for and we want to show her a windmill, a giant sundial, a funfair and some fireworks. My little girl is excited about visiting somewhere up north; it’ll be a new experience for her.

It is just a flying visit and we will be getting up and making the return journey to Suffolk in the wee small hours of tomorrow. While there, I may need to nap at Tracey’s at some point. I’m getting old you see, being twelve years older than my little sister. I get tired rather easily these days.

While up north I will undoubtedly tweet some photographs and a few comments about the lovely Tracey. I can’t wait to see her new flat and am hoping to see her pet squirrel too.

So until I return tomorrow, watch this twitter space xx*

*And I will be writing about my meet-up with my other sister, Edith, as soon as possible. We have a lot to talk about. As for twinnie, one of these days we will meet and discuss life, love and drummers in acid jazz groups.

At a loss…

All at sixes and sevens, missing the man I love and wondering what to do to take the pain away. I will probably fill my weekend with activities to make the time go faster; what I don’t want to do is be sitting around thinking. My head is already pounding and I have taken two paracetamol, so I hope the headache at least will go away soon. As for the emptiness in my soul; there is only one cure for that. I know we will be together as soon as he can arrange it but in the meantime I just have to wait… and wait…

I hate having no control over a situation and my imagination goes into overdrive.  I know he misses me too, which is some comfort to a degree. We have been talking about planning our futures together, planning a new life of me, him and children. It is not an easy puzzle to work out but we can do it if we talk and act on our decisions. I have said this many times before but I do not care for fuzzy logic; I like absolutes. I don’t like vagueness and the feeling I am being shrugged off with oh, it’ll be all right (not saying this is happening with my man – it certainly isn’t). But I don’t like vagueness or ambiguity; I find it leads to misunderstandings and disappointment if one person interprets a vague promise in different way to their friend or loved one. I like absolutes – we will do this, and this is how we will do it. That is just the way I am made and I find it infuriating at work when simple questions do not seem to engender simple replies.

Take yesterday for instance. My team of two, me and boss lady, are often treated as some kind of afterthought. We need to see clients but when we try to book a meeting room we are told oh, we haven’t made any allowances for you in our new booking system.  Now that is no use to us – we need a room to interview our clients.  The way it is now, things are fuzzy – we may get a meeting room and we may not. If not, we will have to see the clients in our own office. This is not always ideal, especially if the client has a child in a pushchair or has mobility problems as we are at the top of a long flight of twisty stairs.

And yesterday, due to a misunderstanding I guess, we had no receptionist so I had to cover reception duties which took me away from my own work. I have not been trained on their way of doing reception and I have not been shown how to use the new switchboard. Therefore the arrival of each client yesterday gave me a slight feeling of dread and a hope that they wouldn’t ask me anything too complicated. I also sat there hoping the phone wouldn’t ring (it did but I didn’t answer it – I was talking to a client at the time). You see, this is what I mean about vagaries. Nobody thought to replace the receptionist who is away for a month, so some notion of we’ll wing it sprang into action yesterday.

Anyway, I will care for and support the man I love. I know he is going through a hard time at work at the moment and the last thing he needs is me making him feel guilty for not being here. I love him with all my heart but another part of me just wants him here with me NOW. I love my badger xx

What, no political ranting? Why, why, why? Cos I Can’t Be Arsed!

I haven’t ranted on politics for a good while now. Nor have I gone off on one of my flights of fancy. There are reasons for this:-

1) Matters of the heart take priority.

2) We’re going to get a Labour government whether we like it or not (and I don’t).

3) The left is doing my head in. Get a grip guys. Get together instead of fighting like three year olds over who gets to play with the wooden saucepan lid.

4) I am annoyed at members of the Socialist Party who turned on a good friend of mine, causing him to resign. An unforgivable sin in my book. Shame on you.

5) I am giving @AndyPragnell a holiday from posting comments. The poor lad has floors to mop;)

6) I love a badger, a bonnie bonnie badger. My little stripy boy, aye oop me laddo.

Now look what’s happened. Sake.*

* I have ranted political stuff, I have gone off on a flight of fancy, and to make matters worse I have no wooden saucepans.

He surprises me…

My boyfriend surprises me every now and then. He’s deep and mysterious when we are together – I often feel I need a crowbar to prise information out of him. On his blog and via twitter he’s a different person; chatty, confident and decisive but when we are together he’s quiet and thoughtful.

So yesterday we spent a few hours together watching television and holding hands in an otherwise silent house. It was blissfully relaxing and did us both the world of good (I like to believe anyway). Come yesterday evening he phones me up and starts telling me again how he feels about me and his hopes for and dreams for the future. This information didn’t emerge while we sat watching the television together yesterday morning, so whether my love thought about it on the way back in his car or whether he’d been thinking it all along but couldn’t bring himself to tell me in person, I don’t know. But all I do know is I love him even more. He’s fantastic xx